Friday, March 19, 2010

#fridayflash: Not a single ripple

(Image: Common-pics)

By Lily Mulholland

The surface tension of the dark pond pulled the small, upturned yellow leaf toward others similarly caught, hostages of Mother Nature. Hunched on a coal-black rock at the water’s edge, Alisha watched the leaf-boat collide with the rest, the cause of its doom a breeze so slight it created not a single ripple.

Worlds away, Alisha did not notice the wispy clouds coalesce into grey cotton balls until they passed between her and the sun and the afternoon grew cool. Before the wind’s breath corrugated the pool, Alisha glanced at her reflection. Not since she admired her youth in the iridescent dew drops decorating the forest on a cool spring morning long ago had she really looked at herself.

Gone were the dazzling coats, the lustrous fibres that adorned her silky limbs. In their place were tattered, dust-encrusted rags. Her face, once smooth and pearly, was dun-coloured and parched; the bloom of youth was short. Alisha was not worried for her children – she had made them a home, they had food to eat. She knew their lives would not be easy, but they would survive without her.

Stretching her wings, her antennae quivered in the strengthening late afternoon breeze and Alisha knew it was time to go, to find a place to rest, a place to die. She lingered a few moments longer, watching an eddy corral the leaves on the pond. They would circle the pool endlessly until, at last, they submerged and drowned. They had served their purpose.

21 comments:

  1. Interesting way to tell the story of life through creatures that experience such a short one. As spring blooms it might be a bit depressing, but a welcome alternative to the newly-arrived life stories that are so common at this time of year.

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  2. Sumptuous prose, Lily! A rich, silky metamorphosis. This is as tight as a drum - not a ripple on the skin of this. Lovely.
    Simon.

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  3. You gave the inevitablity of a life cycle a feeling of fulfillment rather than an ending; the conclusion of a life well-spent. Beautiful!

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  4. This is really really lovely Lily. Funnily enough loss of youth is part of my theme this week. Is it something in the air do you think?

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  5. Yes, this is beautiful. Time well spent in the cycle of life, and now it's time to leave.

    Your writing sang here.

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  6. Ah fading, fading so quickly. Lovely.

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  7. "Water again", you said, comparing to last week's flash. So, so different a story though - wonderful!

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  8. This was very flowing and sweet. I did enjoy reading it.

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  9. Lily - I love it! this is beautiful and the prose is tight and descriptive. I love the concept- cycle of life. Not really sad, but natural. Well done!

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  10. Tried to leave a comment earlier, but it wouldn't work on my phone. I loved your take on an insect's life. Sad and sweet.

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  11. I love the acceptance in this. Really lovely.

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  12. Pretty stuff, Lily. I only wish the tone had permitted you to say that of the many thousands she had produced and provided with food, several hundred of her children would survive. :)

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  13. Lovely tone to this, Lily. The reveal is smooth and the insect life as an analogy for our own is thought-provoking. All a matter of scale. I didn't find this downbeat at all, a new beginning not an ending.

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  14. this has such a light and airy feel. very cerebral and just right in the tone.

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  15. Very nice story. Shows the insect life cycle in a much more lyrical way than I imagine it...

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  16. "...watched an eddy corral the leaves..." Sumptious stuff, Lily.

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  17. So beautifully written and such a simple life lived to fulfillment. This read like poetic prose and had such a wonderful feel to the words and experience of this creature.

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  18. I love the image of, "the wind’s breath corrugated the pool." Beautiful words.

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  19. Aww, it's nice to see the cycles of nature getting such a wonderful treatment. Great flash.

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  20. A really lovely story, with some beautiful imagery.

    "They would circle the pool endlessly until, at last, they submerged and drowned. They had served their purpose." - this is heartbreaking yet gorgeous.

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  21. Tim beat me to it. The wind's breath line was original.

    Well done.

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