New flash fiction on Fridays
I guess I just caught up on my politics for the week (I'm in Brisbane!)This is my first stop off here and an opportunity to read your writing.Your writing has a really strong voice and a great sense of self deprecating humour.Fav lines was about the Jehovah's and his hard edged editor. And you pull us immediately in with the yellow envelope. I'd like to see it as one of those things you really should go near, but you just can't help yourself. Tease the reader a little - and don't tell us know it will change his life. We get a sense of that just by the presence of the envelope.Given the strong voice in the piece, I think you could cut out some of the repetition - we get that sadly Matt has been caught up in the dross of newtainment but we know things possibly are going to change for him. And I'd pull a lot out of the ending and keep it snappy. Let the reader read like they're running on adrenalin like Matt.Really interesting premise ... and now I'm goingg to have to suss out what's been going on while I've had my head under a rock.We will all be in your hometown on Monday at parliament house for a protest!
Yay! I love the pacing of this -- just like it is in a newsroom, I'd imagine. Very nicely done.
Great! Like Netta said, I felt like I was right there in the newsroom, with a deadline breathing down my neck. :) Welcome to #fridayflash!
Very exciting - are you sure it's not true?
Nice paced story.
Nice story! Lucky break for sure!www.WritersnWriters.blogspot.com
The premier AND the minister? Good job, Matt! I enjoyed your story...well done!
Snappy stuff. Title and opening work well to let us know what type of story we are getting into. Welcome to #fridayflash.
Thanks everyone for the encouragement. I might just have to do it all over again next week!
nice punch and humor. sounds very true. good stuff!
You've updated the classic noir voice and the image of the hardboiled news guy for the 21st century - the voice is strong and lively.
Hey, this was great. I have family in the newspaper business and from everything I've ever heard through them you captured it all to a T, including the downturn, the pressure, the dreck assignments, the "colorful language" of the news room. You sure you don't work on a newspaper?Great debut piece. Hope to see more #fridayflash from you in the weeks to come. Welcome!~jon
Hey Lily, I think you should give up your day job and start writing. I'm really impressed. All the reading you have done over the years has paid off.
That was a fun read... it's going to kill me not knowing who left that envelope. :-)I can't wait to read more... say, Friday?~2
Nice pacing, focused story- what's not to like? What I really appreciate is that you created a context with your story wher ethose of us not familiar with Aussie vernacular can easily suss out the meaning of the words we don't recognize.
The pacing of this piece was great. It reminded me of when I worked in television news, only you spared us a few f-bombs. :) Really very good. I hope you continue with #fridayflashChris
I love reading comments so please do leave one! I would also appreciate your constructive criticism - life is a learning journey and I'm enjoying learning a lot about my writing.